


Dadgil and Son: A Family of Fools

by kiapurity



Series: FsF [5]
Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Dadgil Week (Devil May Cry), Gen, Sam the Researcher, the ducklings - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-01-26 17:07:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21377551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiapurity/pseuds/kiapurity
Summary: Another take on Dadgil and Son, this time using Fortuna's Fool-verse. Painfully awkward attempts at trying to be a dad.
Series: FsF [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1438180
Comments: 3
Kudos: 43





	1. “Some things are not meant to be fixed”

The promised day finally arrived as indicated by the phone call Vergil got this morning. He was too nervous regarding the painting that was dropped off at a restorer, hoping to repair the damage that was caused by the fire and years of neglect when it was left behind at the ruined house. Vergil managed to convince his twin brother to come along for emotional support only to get a snort from Nero who didn’t believe the two could get along for more than five minutes.

Once they arrived at the shop, nervous as to what they were going to behold. The restorer had apologized and said that they tried their best to do what they could but one of their relatives got it in their mind to finish the job. The twins were staring at the painting which looked perfect except for the fact that their father was a smudged mess. The restorer said that they would waive the entire fee but Vergil insisted on paying because at the very least they were able to get the damage repaired. The restorer said that he could repair the unfortunate “fix” if they happened to have a picture of the man in question.

“Did we ever have photographs of father?” Vergil asked Dante.

“I dunno. Mom took a lot of pictures but I don’t remember finding any.”

There were boxes back in the rented storage unit for the twins to go through but they didn’t want to. Things were still raw and painful after so many decades. There would be a day in which they would finally sit down and get down to it but right now? Nah.

“Maybe you could dump the painting on Nero.” Dante suggested.

“And risk having my son alienate me?”

“Just tell him that it’s a family heirloom and that it’s his duty as the oldest one to take responsibility for such things.”

“Coming from the one who is an expert in dodging responsibility...” Vergil scowled.

They both stared at the blur, unable to decide if that had improved things or simply made things worse. Finally, faced with little choice, they were forced to take the painting back to the cottage after some considerable bickering with Vergil who failed in an attempt to try to hoist the painting on Dante. Dante didn’t want to scare the clients off … as if the severed stuffed demon head trophies on the shops walls didn’t already do that.

Nero was spending some time with his mom when he finally opened the front door after getting “questionable helpless noises over the phone”, and stared at the twins carrying a painting. He squinted at his male relatives who were unfortunately holding the front of the painting in his general direction.

“You do know that mom isn’t going to let you hang that painting in the house.”

“Have a little more confidence, kid!” Dante laughed while Vergil made no effort to agree or disagree.

“The hell is that blur anyway?”

“Your grandfather.” Vergil replied flatly. “There was a rather unfortunate situation.”

“We could always paste a Fortuna postcard over his face.”

“No, Dante.”

Nero slowly put his face in his hands. “I’m pretty sure I told everyone to burn those postcards because Kyrie still has nightmares about that statue.”

“Speak for yourself.” Dante snorted. “I’ve had too many close encounters with the statue’s crotch and I’m still fine!”

“I somehow doubt that.” Vergil said, rolling his eyes. “None of us are at all that well adjusted and I had to be forced into therapy to admit it in the first place.”

“What’s goin---” Carina walked outside, took a long good look at the painting before blurting out a “hell the fucking no we’re not keeping that in the house” and retreating back into the cottage. The door slammed loudly.

Nero angrily gestured at the door. “SEE?!”

“Do me a favor,” Vergil said. “Take the painting, it is your duty as the first born child to suffer the weight of this heirloom.”

“No.”

Dante barked out a laugh before accidentally dropping his side of the painting on his foot. He yelped out loud before Nero called his uncle a dumbass for not watching himself. Vergil’s expression never changed.

“Maybe we should put it back in storage again.” He sighed. “Taking the painting from the house was a bad idea after all…”

“Dad? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so harsh.”

“It’s alright. Neither of us are that attached to the painting. I had thought that maybe I should try to save something that they had spent money on.”

He wasn’t sure what Sparda would have made of his face having been rendered as a blur. As things went, Vergil winced at the idea that it was a rather too accurate read on how the twins felt about their father, having been a blur in their memories. He didn’t want to be like that for Nero.

“I… guess I could watch it for a little bit.” Nero wasn’t sure why he said that but he felt guilty for his father’s current state. “I mean, uh, I’ll just have it in the living room.”

Nero wasn’t going to even bother thinking about what Kyrie would say about the painting. He could swear he heard Nico commenting on the painting as if she was standing by his side. Thankfully, she wasn’t, because that was one more thing he didn’t need to deal with today.

“Or maybe.” Nero thought about it some more. “We could get a family picture. Uh, not a painting because none of us are that rich.”

“Ignoring the fact that your old man’s literally married to a sugar mommy?”

Vergil rolled his eyes at Dante again. “Yes, a painting is out of the question.”

“I would hope you two are too adult to throw oil paints at each other.” Nero retorted then immediately regretted that. No, his relatives were that dumb enough to do that again. “...yeah, no formal pictures either.”

Nero couldn’t see a solution to this problem because it always centered on the fact that he was stuck with a set of idiots who tended to start fighting every time one or the other said something. This dynamic was goddamn stupid and they both knew it but were more or less willing to be on good behavior as long as he was around. Somewhere, his grandmother’s ghost was thankful that she had a sensible grandchild.

\--

The painting was now safely secured in the living room. Unsurprisingly Nico was making fun of the blur while Kyrie was mostly speechless. Nero explained that he felt guilty and took the painting from his dad and really didn’t know what to do with it. The ducklings had looked at the painting and asked why it wasn’t in a museum.

“Yeah, sure, no museum would take that.” Nico said.

The ducklings argued that they would turn the house into a museum then and charge fare for admission to help out with the finances. Kyrie had to gently dissuade them from the idea though she admitted that it wasn’t exactly a bad idea in the first place. Nero gave her a long suffering expression.

“Not that I get the sense that anyone wants to start the church back up.” She sighed. “No one I know here has made the connection with you.”

“Probably for the best, this family is a trainwreck. And I made the genius idea of suggesting a new family picture.”

“Why, that’s a lovely idea, Nero!”

Nico chomped on a lollipop since she wasn’t allowed to smoke in the house. “Kyrie, think we need to restock the first aid kit?”

“Yes.”

\--

Sam and Nico were standing “behind the scenes” so to speak with the first aid kit while witnessing the sheer absurdity of the family picture proceeding before them. There were a lot of wardrobe arguments with Vergil wanting formal and Dante wanting casual but Nero sandwiched himself between them and said, “ONE OF EACH.”

Then it was pointed out that Vergil probably had no idea what casual was before he yelled back at Dante about Dante having less idea of formal wear. Nero not-so-gently reminded them to stop arguing and behave. Sam simply took a sip from their flask before offering Nico a sip. It was going to be a long day.

“Guys!” Kyrie piped up. “Please don’t upset the baby and send me into an early labor?”

The twins suddenly sat down on the opposite ends of the couch, behaving themselves. Nero should have known to count on Kyrie for her sweet but, yet strangely terrifying way of commanding grown men. Nico shook her head with an “eh, whatever” before setting up the camera and taking pictures while the twins were on their best behavior. Sure, some of the pictures were a little stiff at first with Nero sandwiched between the brothers. As time processed, they gradually began to relax, looking more at peace. This led to more variety of pictures with couples and families together before Kyrie dragged Nico and Sam into the pictures with the ducklings.

Nero was a little startled to find his father ruffling his hair. There was a tender look from Vergil before he said, “Thank you for suggesting this.”

“Sure, I guess.”

“Are you alright?” There was a brief glance towards Kyrie and Carina talking in the background.

“Nervous. Any day now and Kyrie’s not complaining. She’s handling this surprisingly well.”

“Probably better than your mother is.”

“I imagine we might need more pictures after this.”

“Not a bad thing.”

The two stood in absolute silence before Dante piped up with, “Maybe you two should go to a parenting class? I mean, your old man has no idea how to be a dad to the point he’s reading books for dummies.”

“Actually, I wonder if they do make “grandfather for dummies”...” Vergil pondered out loud.

“Dad, seriously?”


	2. “Bridging that gulf”

Another day, another attempt at trying to bond with his father. Nero was sitting in the kitchen, watching Vergil stress bake cookies again. Once in a while, a random kitchen unisel would nearly go flying into the wall before Nero caught it with one of his extra arms. They still couldn’t figure out how to talk to each other normally.

It was easier back then before they knew about each other and when Vergil was V. The most he had spoken was about his shattered childhood when they traveled through Red Grave’s ruined countryside in which there was a lone house sitting on the top of a strewn hill.

Right now?

Nero was doing his best with damage control in regards to objects being tossed around. “Dad, don’t you think you should relax?”

Vergil stopped moving, trying to comprehend the question. What was relaxation? He had known of no such thing as his life had been nothing but a series of chaos and misfortune. “I apologize. I don’t understand that.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

Stupid question. Nero groaned to himself. “Why are you baking? Did something happen between you and mom?”

“No. Wait. Maybe? I don’t know.”

“Either you do or you don’t.”

“Your mother has been pushing me to try to be a better father to you.”

“Is that why you keep buying these books?” Nero motioned to the stack which had grown since the last time he was in the house. “Wait, is that a new one?”

“Yes. I have no frame of reference on how to be a parent.”

That had been explained too well when they saw Sparda’s faint memory that evening. The twins were tossing back and forth what little memories they had of their father at the restaurant with Nero quietly listening in. It shouldn’t be a surprise that Vergil was having some considerable trouble trying to proceed with a grown up child in which he had missed out on all the most important milestones.

“I mean, you could babysit the kids over at my house if you need some practice.”

“The cookies are for them. Do you think they would like them?”

Nero cautiously looked at the lumps on the pan, ready to be shoved into the oven. “If they’re chocolate chip cookies, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Then I shall apply the book theory to real world practice.” Vergil thought for a moment. “But that still doesn’t address the bigger issue here.”

“Oh?”

“I missed out on your life. Your first steps, your first tooth, first girlfrie—”

Nero immediately interrupted Vergil. “ONLY ONE.”

“Hmph.” Vergil placed the cookies in the oven before taking a seat across from Nero. “Very well, tell me about your childhood.”

Surprised by the turn in the conversation, Nero furrowed his eyebrows while trying to find a good place to start. He began by telling his father about how he was adopted by Kyrie and Credo’s family in which Vergil interrupted by asking if Nero had a sister complex.

“Of course NOT, DAD. I never saw them in that way. I mean, sure, the family was important to me, but I still felt too much of an outsider to really “belong”.”

It went without saying that Nero’s inherited coloring from his father and his grandfather was the reason why he never felt like he fit in with the rest of Fortuna’s children. He was constantly picked on, with the bullies who taunted about his origins that he was probably the son of a whore who gave him up.

“Such foolish bullies, do you have names so I can go punish them appropriately?”

“Dad, no.”

“Hmph.”

“Anyway, Kyrie beat them up for me.”

“You have a good if somewhat questionable choice in a mate.”

“WHAT’S SO QUESTIONABLE ABOUT KYRIE?”

“Are you sure you don’t have a sister complex?”

Nero slammed his head on the table. “Dad, please. Stop.”

Then he resumed explaining that he always did his best to repay his adopted family back for taking him in. Still, it didn’t ease the hurt that he felt, wondering why his parents didn’t want him and Kyrie always tried to help him feel better by reading her favorite story to him. She told him that there was a reason why Nero was with her family.

Then he lost his adopted parents in a demon attack and how much Kyrie suffered from the loss, trying to pick up the slack. It felt natural for Nero to join the Order of the Sword in order to protect Kyrie because losing people who meant a lot to him was something that he didn’t want to repeat again. In spite of that, they still lost Credo and it always tore Nero up on the inside that he was just not strong enough.

“I understand the feeling, son.”

“Oh?”

“My methods were highly questionable and in the long run, rather ineffective.” Vergil sighed, standing up to remove a batch from the oven before popping in another one. “I had become single-minded in my quest because I didn’t want to feel pain. Then that led to me trying to sever my emotions off because they were weighing on me.”

“And totally cut my arm off…” Nero snorted, watching his father flinch.

“Foolish choice. Had I even bothered considering why you had Yamato in the first place…”

“It’s fine, I grew a new one anyway. Been a long time since I’ve had a human arm.”

“Human arm?”

“Not too long before Dante showed up, Kyrie and I were attacked by a bunch of demons in the woods. Didn’t understand why my arm did that thing, just assumed that it was an infection.”

Vergil pinched the bridge of his nose. “Infection?”

“I thought I was a human, okay? Just a weird looking one. Didn’t even consider that I wasn’t until Dante showed up.”

“What did that fool do?”

“Stuff. Then I stabbed him with his sword.”

“I have the strangest feeling of deja vu.” Vergil remarked with a slight smirk on his face. “Considering I did the very same thing to him years ago.”

“...does he have a habit of getting stabbed by his own sword?”

“Most of the time.”

“Now that I understand about who I am.” Nero said, looking at his hands. “I think I know why it happened that day. I was trying to fight to protect Kyrie that my arm changed without me thinking.”

“Considerably different from when I was a scared child, running for my life. Mundus’ army had surrounded me and I was on the brink of death when I became a Devil. Decimated the army afterwards and it was something of a shock when I learned I wasn’t fully human.”

“What, they didn’t say anything to you?”

“No. I think mother wanted us to have a normal childhood… something that ended abruptly. I’m glad you were able to have what I couldn’t and I couldn’t ask for more than that. Nero, I just want you to know that I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, I guess. Cookies starting to burn.”

Vergil dashed to the stove as Nero slowly turned over the words in his head. It felt good, having this much needed conversation. Progress was still slow but steady. 

“Maybe after this, we could get in some training?”

“I’d like that, dad.”


	3. “A side perk to Vergil’s powers”

The two men were in the middle of intense training in the front yard as Nico grinned to the woman sitting next to her, sipping hot cocoa. “Gonna be hard to bet on the winner, eh?”

“Nah, Nero’s going to win.”

“...I HEARD THAT WIFE.”

Carina pointedly ignored the indignant voice, “Come up with anything new yet, Nico?”

“Nah, if I even suggest any kind of thing like ‘Baby’s first weapon’... Nero immediately shoots it down. You sure he’s your kid?”

There was a loud thwack, Vergil went sailing into the air due to a rather unexpected upswing from Nero which caught his father squarely in the chin. Vergil went crashing through several trees in the neighborhood with Nero not too far behind. Carina only gave Nico a relatively smug look.

“Why would you ever think otherwise?”

“Stupid question.” Nico said, conceding her point.

“Oh jeez.” Sam looked outside, surprising the two women. “The mayor is going to be a little crabby.”

“We can just claim damage due to demonic activity.”

“I-- no. You’re terrible even though that is TECHNICALLY TRUE.” Sam ducked back into the house.

Nico shrugged. “I better grab some of those cookies before the kids devour ‘em!” She swiftly retreated into the house, leaving the woman in considerable deep thought.

Whatever, the men were going to have to clean up after themselves. They finally realized that they had gone out of bounds and scrambled their way back to the front yard after trying to clean up the broken trees. Nero had hit harder than he thought and guilt was instantly written across his face because he had gotten into the training.  
“Damn, I’m dumb. I should’ve been more careful.”

“It’s fine. I don’t need you to hold back. You still have that raw strength, I see. Probably need more refinement.”

“I’m fine the way I am.” Nero protested. “What, you not able to handle hard hits? Getting too old?”

Vergil narrowed his eyes at his son. “I’m perfectly capable.”

“So we’re both agreed on that count, right?”

They grumbled, making their way back to the porch before Carina asked if there was a clear winner before the two men stared at each other. Neither of them were able to figure out the answer to the question before Nero replied that they were taking a break for now. They planted their butts on the ground, staring at the sky.

Even though the gulf was slowly being repaired between them, it was still going to be awkward between the two. “So, did you consider that a rematch?”

“Not quite.”

“Is there any reason why you guys are gung-ho about fighting?”

“Gotta stay in shape to beat some demon asses, mom.”

“I wasn’t sure if that was just normal or a Sparda thing.”

“I assuredly couldn’t tell you either way.” Vergil answered Carina. “There was a time when sparring wasn’t a priority for me but that time has since passed.”

“I see. I still hope Nero beats you.”

“...and why would you say that?”

Carina gave Vergil a look that spoke volumes, causing the man to flinch. “Probably because my priorities changed after you left? You know what your son is capable of.”

“With time, he could improve on a few areas.”

“Hey, you two. Don’t talk about me as if I’m not here!”

She gave a wave and retreated inside the house, leaving the men alone with their thoughts. They only looked at each other for a moment before Nero asked what he was supposed to improve on. His father shook his head and said it was the small things like leaving openings.

"That's coming from the one who starts a musical route in the middle of the goddamn battle!"

"The difference is that I had the familiars do the work for me in my diminished state."

"And whose fault was that?"

Before Vergil could retort to that statement, Nero was tackled by the children who knocked him over, demanding to play with him. He shot back up with a boy in each arm and chased after the smallest one while making dinosaur noises. Vergil wisely picked up Red Queen and placed it on the porch.

“Hey!” One of the boys called from one of Nero’s arms. “Aren’t you the one who made it snow?”

“Who told you that?” Vergil asked.

“Nico!” The other boy shouted, probably Julio. “Make it snow for us!”

“Yeeeah! We haven’t had a good snow in a while!”

“Come on, you kids…” Nero sighed. “I’m sure you shouldn’t be bothering him--”

“It is no trouble.”

Nero blinked at his father as Vergil went into a deep state of concentration. He could sense energy whirling in the air as a thick layer of snow dumped itself on the front yard as the boys shrieked in happiness and one less than amused Nero. He glared at his father before angrily pointing out that they didn’t have jackets and gloves for this kind of thing.

“They’re not going to freeze from the snow.” Vergil said.

The boys squirmed out of Nero’s arms and started building a family of snowmen right away, shrieking with laughter. The sound summoned just about everyone to the porch, facial expressions ranging from surprise, disbelief, whatthefuck, to amusement. Sam broke out the flask and took a deep sip from it.

“It would seem that is a worrying specific ability to cover just one area in the snow.”

“Hell, how are we going to explain that only this yard is covered in the snow?!”

“...I’m getting an idea for a new weapon…” Nico murmured to herself softly as both Carina and Sam slowly glanced at her.

“It’s perfectly harmless, isn’t it?” Kyrie smiled. “Oh no, I should’ve gotten mittens.”

“Miss Kyrie!” Kyle shouted. “It’s fine! We made a small snowbaby for you!”

“Oh, how cute…” Kyrie went over to coo over the snowman family that the kids had worked so hard on while Nero looked at his father with utter astonishment and confusion.

“I didn’t think you’d do something like this.”

“If it makes the children happy, it matters. I wonder if it’s possible to resume training with a snow fight.” Vergil was already balling up a pile of snow in his hands.

“Really.” Nero grinned. “I think you’ll find that I have great aiming.”

“Bring it on, son.”

Sam was busy writing up notes in their pad, “Worth investigating, summoned snowballs is a vision to behold and probably run away in terror from.”

A wild snowball passed over Sam’s head as they quickly moved to safety inside the house, observing from the living room window like a very good researcher. Nero quickly dived out of the way as five snowballs pelted the side of the house. He took this chance to launch a double snowball set which Vergil barely dodged in time. Unfortunately, Dante somehow managed to show up in the midst of the battle and was promptly pelted with snowballs.

“Who called him?” Nico asked.

“Hello.” Dante responded, wiping the snow off of his face. “So, that funky weather? You?”

“You showed up quicker than I expected.”

“Was in the area, noticed a funny energy surge. Didn’t know if you were up to no-good.”

“You insult me.” Vergil said, eyes narrowed at his twin and fell over from Nero’s surprise attack.

“LEFT AN OPENING!” Nero shouted and dove out of the way as more summoned snowballs went sailing through the air, missing their quarry once again.


	4. “No one is allowed near the books ever”

Another day, another headache. Nero was resting his chin on the table glaring at a book spine. It proudly proclaimed that it was titled ‘Dad Jokes 101’ and Nero wondered why the hell his dad needed a such thing. It was not like Vergil to crack jokes in the first place considering he was a stoic person but of course those quips tended to come out of nowhere. Strange, considering Dante was the true jokester of the twins.

“Is there something the matter, son?”

“Why do you need joke books? Isn’t that Dante’s thing?”

Vergil seemed to consider that. “I can’t have him beat me.”

“Do you really want to beat him with jokes?” Nero groaned, massaging his temples.

“No, I will not allow that fool to win.”

“Dad.” Nero began. “I’m not happy about this.”

“Hello, Not Happy, I’m dad.”

Nero immediately got up from the table and left the room while Vergil slid into a thinking pose. Rough audience. He would have to give this some considerable research.

\--

“Mom, how do I get dad to stop with the bad jokes?” Nero asked.

Carina looked up from her laptop, a blank stare on her face then she blinked. “Your father is telling jokes? Are pigs flying right now?”

“Wife, I’ll have you know I am perfectly capable of telling jokes!” Vergil had materialized into the living room, nearly making Nero double over from surprise.

“Fire away.”

“Why did the invisible man turn down a job offer?” There was a beat as both mother and son stared at Vergil. “He couldn’t see himself doing it!”

Nero started climbing out of the window to escape out of desperation while Carina calmly picked up her laptop, taking it to the bedroom and closed the door behind her. Vergil frowned again as the small Griffon hopped onto the coffee table, preening in the warm void that the laptop had been sitting in previously.

“Princess, you clearly aren’t doing yourself any favors with these jokes.”

“I don’t see what the problem is. These jokes are supposed to be a good way to bond with children.”

Griffon let out a small bird sigh. “Your annoying pimple is not a child. If anything, you’re only making him wish Urizen had blasted him to pieces.”

Vergil winced. “I only had thought this would be a better way to bond with him rather than depend on training.”

“You’re just saying that because he got you good with that snowball.”

“He only inherited his mother’s aiming.” Vergil snarked back, reminding Griffon of the time the bird got nailed by a flying pregnancy test stick. “Perhaps, he did inherit her sense of humor too.”

“I HEARD THAT, HUSBAND.”

The two were stunned into silence for a good five minutes before Vergil did a double take. Griffon only stared at him and shrugged. “I’m sure she didn’t.”

“You may be right. I’m going to admit defeat and ask Dante for help with jokes.”

\--

“Devil May Cry, what’s the password?” Dante picked up the phone on the first ring.

“If two vegans get into a fight, is it still a beef?”

Dante pulled the phone away from his head, staring at it as if it was a venomous snake in his hand. “Vergil…? Don’t quit your day job. Wait, you don’t have one.”

“Dante.” There was that usual strained voice, sounding as if his twin was already pinching the bridge of his nose. “Are my jokes that poor?”

“Did you manage to make Nero climb out of the window?”

“Maybe, why?”

“Because I got a funny feeling. Why are you telling jokes anyway?”

“I need to bond with my son better.”

“So do things with him that he’ll enjoy, not drive him away.”

“I may want to be a little better than you with jokes.”

“Just do what you do best, Vergil.” Dante sighed and grabbed a slice of pizza off the desk. “You have nothing to worry about. You’re a nerd, so go nerd out with him.”

“Thanks for the pep talk, brother.”

\--

Nero snuck back in the house while his father’s back was turned. Why he didn’t bother with the front door was a question for the ages which was only answered by Sam the Researcher who knocked on the door. Nero opened the front door in which Sam stared at the man, then at the door, and back at the window.

“May I ask why you climbed back into the house just to open the front door?”

“I was uh, escaping from dad jokes.”

“I’m sure they’re not that bad.”

Vergil cleared his throat. “I have one last joke to get out of my system. A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere.”

“Somewhere, I swear I can hear a demon cheese wheel hissing.” Sam replied flatly. “Okay, that one was pretty bad.”

“That’s what I meant!” Nero gestured to Vergil who only scowled in return.

“Nero, my son. We will discuss the fine literature.” The father grabbed his son by the back of his jacket, dragging him to the library.

Sam only could take this time to ponder the fine properties of dad jokes and hissing cheese wheels.


	5. “Matching Wits for Words”

After that incident with dad jokes, Nero wasn’t sure if things had improved any what with them being cooped up in the library. He knew his father liked to read books but this was a bit much, not like Nero didn’t have any issues reading or anything. He was at a loss regarding classics considering he barely paid attention and only did his homework dutifully (with Kyrie’s help) as much as he could.

He was looking through the shelves which housed a mix of his parents’ personal preferences. Nero made a strangled sound in his throat when he realized that the bodice rippers belonged to his mother with questionable sounding titles that may suggest certain kinks. Yeah, he was not going to read those lest he suffer from nightmares for a week and begging for a sip from Sam’s flask to knock himself out.

“Huh?” He said out loud as he pulled out a copy of Frankenstein. “This edition is a bit old.”

“That was one of my books from the house.” Vergil answered from the plush chair. “One of the few that survived the fire anyway.”

“Ah, I see. There’s no smoke smell.”

“Your mother did a decent job of restoring the books. Cat litter is surprisingly useful.”

Nero wrinkled his nose. “Did Shadow mind?”

Vergil gave his son a droll look. “Fresh litter sealed in an airtight plastic box, not straight from her box.”

“I had to ask.”

Nero sat down in the other chair, flipping through the first few pages. “I thought your books were usually poetry.”

“I read what I could get my hands on. Wrote my name on them just to keep Dante away from them. Not like it didn’t stop him half of the time.”

“I assume that you two wound up fighting.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“How are you two so stupid?”

Vergil paused, putting his book down for a moment. “I suppose it comes with being a sibling. We almost never interacted with other human children so it would always be the two of us. Quite remarkable that our personalities were the opposite of each other and yet we couldn’t stand the thought of being apart.”

Nero couldn’t say that he understood, having never considered Kyrie and Credo in the same category as siblings. It was a different relationship with them, something akin to roommates. Then there was that particular bit of news that took everyone in the family some time to process.

“I guess I kind of have an idea of what it’s like to be an older brother. Only there’s going to be less bloodshed involved.”

“I assure you, it wasn’t always bloody between us.”

“I somehow doubt that.”

Vergil pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t disagree with Nero’s statement. The twins had spent more time apart than together and whenever they were together, fights always broke out regardless of the reason. He held a finger up and pointed to the book.

“Read.”

“Am I supposed to do a book report too, father?”

There was a small strangled noise as Vergil leaned back in the chair and slammed the book over his face. Nero shrugged, standing up with the book in his hand. “I should get back to Kyrie anyway.”

“I have a question, Nero.”

“Yeah?”

“How would you rate your cooking skills?”

“Uh, decent enough that no one goes hungry. Why?”

Vergil still had the book on his face, barely moving from his seat. “Perhaps. I was considering that for a change, I should attempt to cook a family dinner and I would like to request your assistance in this matter.”

“Uh, sure, I can help.”

More like, he was going to have to help with the clean up and rearranging the kitchen to its normal state after Vergil was done. The spatula would have stayed buried in the wall for a week if Nero hadn’t caught it the other day. He wasn’t sure he would trust his father with knives in the kitchen if Vergil got the genius idea to use Judgment Cut on vegetables.

“Okay, dad. How about if I talk it over with Kyrie and we can decide on a day to give you some time to practice in the kitchen?"

"Then, the matter is settled."

Nero looked back at the book in his hand. Alright, he would give this book a try. Then he opened the back, expecting to find his father's handwriting but he also pulled out a sticky note that seemed to have a handwritten "name suggestions?" tucked inside.

"I forgot about that." Vergil was at Nero's side, plucking away the note.

"Isn't that a bit early?"

"Your mother gave me free reign to come up with names as I did not have input on yours, Nero."

"Oh. Shouldn't you need the book? Unless you managed to memorize that too?"

"Correct."

"What else haven't you memorized?"

"Probably the ones that came out while I was detained for some time." Nero immediately cringed at his father. "I've been working my way through a list. Do you have any recommendations?"

Great. Nero felt uncomfortable as he wrestled with his thoughts. There wasn't much time to read in between demon hunting which was considerably annoying. What was the last book he read? The title was on the tip of his tongue but his brain cell was taking too long to process. 

"Damn it. It's been too long. Don't really get much of time to sit down and read."

"That's alright. I understand the feeling all too well when I was younger myself. It was considerably difficult to try to read books while on the run."

"Still don't know how you managed that."

Vergil couldn't say with certainty either, based off what he could recall as a cold, starving child grabbing discarded books. Many evenings were spent fighting for survival, and the desire to learn more. As he got older, he started getting bold enough to sneak into bookstores and libraries to read what he could before moving on. One of his foolish mistakes back then was misreading the title of a particular book he took to meant for fighting techniques.

_In a manner of speaking._

That was an interesting moment when he learned otherwise upon poring through the pages in stunned silence before returning the book to the shelves. He couldn't recall having left the building so quickly due to his burning embarrassment. Regardless, those techniques were useful later down the line. Considering the end result did produce one impressive quarter demon child.

"Audio books count, right?"

"Had not considered that idea. Intriguing."

He was quietly mulling over a quick list of pro and cons in his head. There were risks of distraction involved if the book proved to be engaging. Like, accidentally getting stabbed by a demon or two. Not like that meant anything to the Sparda men who were used to being stabbed as if it was just another goddamn day. Meanwhile, Nero snuck over to the doorway before a summoned force edge jabbed into the doorknob.

“Really?!”

“I didn’t say you could go.” 

“If you want that list of books…” Nero sighed. “I gotta leave the house to get you that list. I’ll call you back when I get home.”

“I’ll hold you to that. Else, we may need to duel with words.”

Nero only shrugged in mock surrender. “Whatever, dad. At least you’re doing okay with getting used to the world, aren’t you?”

“A little bit.” Vergil smiled back. “One step at a time.”


	6. “Why do we even let Vergil cook again”

Nero had lost track of how many times a knife went flying in a direction or how the potato peeler wound up in the freezer instead of sitting on the counter like it was supposed to be. His father was religiously following the directions but somehow something managed to go wrong every time he needed to do a step.

“Shouldn’t you slow down a little bit?”

“Slow… down?”

It was clear how unfamiliar Vergil was with the concept of slowing down and pacing himself with simple tasks. Baking cookies was one thing, preparing for a family dinner was another thing entirely considering how many people were going to show up. Nero only facepalmed in response to his father.

“There is value in that.” He responded, searching for a misplaced cutting board which somehow was embedded into the wall above Nero’s head.

“Are you nervous?”

“A little bit. Trying to prepare romantic dinners was so difficult that I gave up and ordered take-out. I’m hoping to do better this time.”

Nero pulled the cutting board out of the wall, returning it to his father. He reminded himself mentally to patch the wall later after dinner and dishes. “One thing at a time. I’ll peel the potatoes, you focus on preparing the roast.”

The two men worked in silence with Nero glancing over his shoulder every few minutes to make sure there was no more incidents with food prep. It wasn’t as if they could really fill the dead air with idle chatter as they weren’t very good at small talk despite their best efforts. Once the roast was firmly in the oven, Nero tasked Vergil with finishing the potatoes on the stovetop.

“This was quite helpful. Do… we need to make the dessert next?”

“Nah, Kyrie got that one covered. She made a peach cobbler earlier in the day, I told her that she didn’t need to do that but she wanted to anyway. Sweet tooth.”

Nero had tried to dissuade Kyrie from doing too much in the kitchen but he always wilted under her glare, pointing out that she wasn’t helpless. Even though she looked as if she was ready to give birth to their child at any time. It wasn’t as if Nero had any doubt about her capability, he was just afraid of her overdoing things and hurting herself. 

“Pregnancy cravings?”

“A little bit of that and wanting to make sure everyone gets some fruit even if it’s in a dessert form. I think she’s already got the mothering bit nailed down.”

There was a bit of catch in Nero’s voice as if he sounded like he wasn’t too sure of himself. Vergil knew the same feeling at all too well. “Nero?”

“What?”

“Are you scared?”

“A bit, I guess. I mean, fighting demons? No big deal. A baby… that’s something else.” 

Vergil glanced at the potatoes to make sure the pot wasn’t overboiling then he gave a small sigh. “If anything, I’ve seen how you deal with the orphans. I have confidence in you.”

“Well, I mean, they’re already pretty big enough…” His hands were trembling slightly as he spoke. “But little Eva… she’s not here yet and I’m anxious.”

“Deep breaths.”

Nero sank to the floor, trying to take deep breaths as recommended while Vergil focused on dealing with the potatoes now that they finished cooking on the stovetop. He went over to the stove to drain the excess water and folded in the necessary ingredients before mashing them. Nero closed his eyes for a few minutes, being slightly transported into time when as children, he and Kyrie played in the kitchen while Kyrie’s mother made dinners.

Such fleeting memories.

“I think the potatoes are done, Nero?” Vergil said. “Mind taste testing this for me?”

“Sure. Didn’t you try it?”

“Considering my limited cooking experience, I can’t say for sure if I did this well or not.”

“Jeez.” Nero grabbed a spoon, sampling a bit of mashed potatoes. “Huh, these are pretty good. Think you did this one right.”

“Oh good, I can add this to my repertoire. Cookies and mashed potatoes.”

“At least we know you can’t burn boiling water.”

Vergil smirked. “I pity the fool who attempted such a thing.”

\--

“If I didn’t know any better, I could swear I was being insulted somehow.” Dante remarked from the couch, buried under the ducklings. 

“It’s just your imagination.” Carina said, reading through a parenting magazine. “Do you need any help over there?”

“I think I’m fine!”

“Nope. I think you’re losing the feeling in your limbs over there.” Lady lifted Kyle off of Dante. “I kind of need you alive. Gotta collect on that tab.”

“I also need more test subjects too!” Nico spoke up while trying to reassemble some kind of mysterious configuration in her lap that no one wanted to ask about.

“Good to know that I’m important.” Dante chuckled.

\--

“...did I overcook the roast?”

“I don’t think so. I mean, it doesn’t look like Griffon fried it.”

“I could help fry it some more.” Griffon piped up from Vergil’s head, having been asleep in his hair.

“NO.” Nero ordered the bird to stand his ass the hell down. “In any case, the meat is fine.”

It was up to them to taste test the meat and to their relief, the meat turned out equally just as good as the potatoes. Vergil told Griffon to either go back to sleep or get out of his hair only to get sassed by the bird who insisted that it wasn’t safe for him to leave Vergil’s hair with Nico around. There was still that fear that he would be turned into a chicken nugget.

“You’d just give Nico food poisoning.” Nero grumbled. “I’m going to see if the table has been set yet.”

\--

Dante was busy chasing the ducklings around the table, making animal noises. Every once in a while, a kid would manage to drop a fork in the rightful place while shrieking and giggling. It was up to Lady to tidy up the mess, shaking her head at the chaos.

“Need help?”

“Nah, I’ve got this covered.” Lady said as she placed the napkins down. “I used to do this with my mom. Just little family dinners.”

“Ah, Nanny and I did the same. Trying to maintain a sense of normalcy.” Carina said, grabbing a spoon that nearly went flying in the other direction. “Funny, it’s always the small things that gets to you.”

“Right. I’m not sure Dante knows what a place setting is.”

“Hey, I’m just watching the kids! No need to worry about forks with pizza.”

“You can’t always eat pizza all the time!”

“Yeah, that’s what strawberry sundaes are for.” He shrugged and caught Julio. “Gotcha!”

Nero sighed loudly at his uncle, arms crossed. “Really?”

“What, they’ve been on their best behavior!”

“Dinner’s ready but…” Angry gestures to the table. “Daaaaaaaaaaaaante.”

“You’re starting to sound awfully a lot like your old man there.”

Nero glowered at Dante before finally retrieving the rest of the silverware from the ducklings and placing them on the table with a grumble. The researcher woke up with a start from the silverware hitting the table and looked around in mid-panic before realizing that they had a weird dream about dancing flasks.

“Didn’t mean to wake you up, Sam.”

“Eh. That’s what I get for staying up late writing papers.”

Nico handed Sam a can of energy drink, watching the researcher drink it instinctively. The next following minutes had the researcher seeing through several dimensions and rapidly writing notes on their observations. Nero shot Nico a puzzled expression while she shrugged in response.

“Thought it would help.”

“Please don’t kill Sam.”

The table was finally full of various plates of meals prepared by the father/son team who were relieved to have gotten the tough task out of the way. (If it was only tough because slowing down was such a foreign concept to Vergil.) Everyone took their seats at the table and Kyrie held up a hand, asking people to wait. She had an important speech to make first.

“Thank you for this meal. It means a lot to me that you both went out of your way to make this family dinner a reality. I know it’s tough for me to give up some chores but even I need a break every now and then.”

Kyrie took a sip of water before resuming. “I’m happy that everyone’s here today to share this meal. Everyone, thank you for being a part of this family. Now, meal time!”

There was a round of “aww”s while both father and son blushed furiously at such gratitude given. Then the frenzy began with everyone trying to grab a piece of each dish with Nero yelling at people to take turns, this was a civilization, not a zoo. Once everyone had their fill with the meals with various compliments being tossed back and forth, the dessert was finally brought up with a bucket of ice cream.

“Peach cobbler ala mode!” Kyrie said. “Come and get some!”

“TURNS!” Nero boldly reminded everyone.

After the desserts, the ducklings were in a food coma, just piled up together in front of the television playing a family movie. The adults were busy trying to clean up the table while one researcher finally passed out from the energy drink wearing off. Nero was loading the dishes into the dishwasher while Vergil put some of the leftovers in the fridge.

“This was a learning experience I’m grateful for.”

“Yeah?”

“Sometimes, slowing down isn’t a bad thing.” Vergil smiled after closing the fridge.


	7. “The things we do for those who we love”

The two men were standing in front of mother’s day card rack, trying to flip through ones that they thought the women in their lives would appreciate. Some were sentimental while others were humorous. Vergil squinted at one card before returning it to the rack, having rejected it.

“Problem, dad?”

“I feel like a card is insufficient for your mother. She needs a more grand gesture than this.”

“Well, yeah. Cards are meant to be a nice bonus. I’m getting Kyrie her favorite chocolates and a spa kit so she can have some time to relax.”

“I take it that you’re doing well with little Eva?”

“Worried for nothing. Smooth sailing all the way.”

“The bags under your eyes would indicate otherwise.”

Nero gave a small groan, slumping slightly. Okay, so he tended to wake up in the middle of the night as if he was ready for that little cry. Some nights Kyrie told him to stay in bed and go back to sleep. 

“Okay, you got me there.”

“Not to say that I wouldn’t have done the same.”

Somehow, Nero had a hard time imagining that but the last few months trying to repair that gulf and doing decades of catch-up, he figured his father would have done that if there was a chance. “I believe that.”

“Think your mother would like this one?” Vergil plucked out a new card from the rack.

“Yeah, works well enough. What are you going to get for her?”

“Perhaps, a supper and a movie.”

“Sounds good enough.”

“Is it?” Vergil let out a sigh. “Even though your mother has long since forgiven me. I still have a great deal to make up for.”

“Stop kicking yourself around and trust her.”

“Okay. There is something I need to do afterwards. Mind meeting me later, it concerns something at Redgrave Cemetery.”

“Uh, sure?” Nero looked confused for a moment then he remembered and nodded.

“Then let’s go ahead with our purchases.”

The duo silently gathered up the items, purchasing them and left in their separate ways. The minute Nero returned home, he was greeted by the ducklings who were hard at work with trying to tidy the living room. Nico was still in the garage, having ignored Nero because she was lost in her thoughts while kicking around a new idea.

“Where--” Nero’s sentence stopped the minute he heard Kyrie sing and shrugged.

He followed the singing voice to the nursery, finding her cradling little Eva in her arms. Kyrie was singing a classic lullaby, having only hit the verse about buying a looking glass. She stopped for a moment, smiling at her husband who sheepishly was trying to hide a gift bag behind his back.

“Oh, hello, I was just getting her to take her afternoon nap.”

“Uhh. I think she might be a little too young for a diamond ring…”

“Silly! She’s precious enough for one.” Kyrie laughed as she stood up, placing Eva in her crib. “Ah, she fell asleep so easily.”

“Happy Mother’s day.”

Nero handed over the gift bag, still blushing furiously. Even after all these years, he hadn’t changed with how sheepishly he would hand over gifts to her. She only laughed and thanked him with a hug and a kiss.

“This is just perfect! But remember, we’re a team.”

“Yeah, yeah, got that.”

“You got stuff for your mom too?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna stop by because dad wanted to do something for grandma.”

“Ah, did he say that?”

“Not in so many words but…”

“I know the feeling.” Kyrie smiled sadly. “It’ll be okay.”

\--

After having dropped off gifts for his mother who was surprised, having completely forgotten what day it was. She only laughed and said that Nero had a few years to catch up before he sighed at her. Carina also pointed out that knowing that Nero was alive and well all these years was the best thing she could ever ask for. Vergil only responded with a “Sometimes you need to be spoiled.”

“Funny.” 

“I was only telling the truth.” Vergil said. “Dante’s going to meet us there, he’s picking up the flowers this time.”

“Oh?”

“First time visiting the grave was difficult, but it had to be done. Coming back home always feels so strange. The first time, I wasn’t well physically and mentally. The things I did that day… I still regret.”

“Meh. Still got a new arm.” Nero scoffed while Vergil cringed.

“You’re treating this too lightly.”

“Look, you’re my dad. Sure, that was frickin’ weird hanging out with you while you were V after… all THAT. What was it that you said to me that day? … stop hitting yourself?”

“Reasonable advice that I need to follow myself.”

“You’re all better though, aren’t you?”

“I can’t say for certain.”

Nero gave his father a withering look to which he shook off with a laugh. It was impossible to be scared of his son sometimes if he tried his best to look upset. The only time anyone should fear Nero was if Vergil and Dante got into another stupid fight, that was when furniture went flying and people got hit with a loud yell of, “ENOUGH, YOU TWO MORONS.”

“Sup!” Dante gestured to the two, carrying a bouquet of roses. “Too much?”

“Suitable.” Vergil answered his twin.

They walked over to the gravestone in silence, mulling over words in their heads. Nero felt a bit out of place, having noted that the area was meticulously well-maintained. Neither of the twins had any idea who took care of the burial arrangements as neither of them stayed behind long enough for such matters. They were such a tight knit family back then with barely any human interactions and neither of them wondered why.

“Didn’t you guys have like, any other relatives on her side?”

“Ah, man.” Dante ran a hand through his hair. “Leave it to you to think of the obvious.”

Truthfully, they had no idea if there were any relatives or not. Didn’t even know if their mother was the only person left or she had been cut off. DNA testing was something they outright refused to entertain or they would freak out a lot of scientists even as Sam the Researcher dryly pointed out the issues involved. Strictly speaking, that was something of a dead end at the moment.

Vergil said that it could have been the bookseller because he was the last human he interacted with shortly before what happened. Nero thought back to the clippings Nico had collected in Red Grave during the incident. They stared at the simple marble gravestone which bore her name and dates.

“Hey, mom. It’s us again and we brought the kid.”

“He has a name, Dante.”

“Um… hi.” Nero sighed. “This feels silly.”

“Nah, it’s a bit therapeutic. Even if mom can’t hear us idiots, it feels good letting it out some. Go ahead.”

“Okay, um. Hello, grandma. I’m sorry that I never got to meet you. Uh, Kyrie and I had a daughter on Valentine’s day. We decided to name her after you and she’s really terrific. Doesn’t cry too much. Laughs if you read a story to her. She’s totally a heart stealer with her smile.”

Dante placed the roses on the grave. “Things are going great. Jobs are steady, I’m no longer in debt. Um, relationships… good enough. Still taking my time.”

“Mother, I made some progress in therapy. I know that what happened that day wasn’t my fault. I’m still trying to do better for my family… and I’m scared.”

They glanced at Vergil who cleared his throat, looking a little flustered. He muttered about how he wasn’t ready for his own twins just yet. Dante teased him about picking out the names before Nero rolled his eyes at his uncle. Vergil retorted that he did have names picked out and sheepishly said that they came from Frankenstein book.

“So, is one going to be the doctor and the other… the monster?”

“Don’t be stupid, Dante.”

Nero had the distinct feeling of dread creep up his spine and couldn’t figure out why. He shot them a glare, reminding them to not start fighting in front of their mother’s grave. Dante said that even he wasn’t that stupid to start a fight before Vergil expressed considerable doubt. Nero yelled at his father next to not start either.

“...grandma, I think I have an idea of how much you endured putting up with these two. I’ll keep them on their toes for you.”

“She couldn't have asked for a better grandchild.” Dante clapped a hand on Nero’s shoulder.

“I agree.” Vergil put his hand on Nero’s other shoulder.

The three of them just hugged each other in silence for a few minutes before breaking up and going their own separate ways back home to spend time with their loved ones.


End file.
